Chapter 20.1

She wanted to see what kind of person he could be, and he could become just that…

Su Jiao suddenly froze.

Xie Yan lowered his head, his ice-cold hand gripping hers.

“What are you trembling for?”

Only then did Su Jiao realize that the hand clutching his arm was shaking.

She opened her mouth, calling out to him in a panic.

“Spit it out, Xie Yan, spit it out!”

Su Jiao’s mind went completely blank in an instant.

How could it be poison? Hadn’t her brother said it was a drug to induce unconsciousness?

She urgently began patting his back, yet he showed no sign of vomiting at all. Su Jiao suddenly turned and staggered backward.

“Where is the Huishui Condensed Dew Pill — is there not still one left? Where is it?”

“Would it not be better to save such a medicine for you in the future?”

Xie Yan tilted his head, smiling, and tightened his grip on her hand.

Su Jiao’s emotions were on the verge of collapse.

“You will die!”

“Die?”

Xie Yan still held her hand without moving, yet Su Jiao felt as though his complexion had already begun to turn pale.

Her heart burned with anxiety as she pushed Xie Yan twice more.

“Let me go get the medicine — where is it?”

Xie Yan looked at her quietly.

“I saw that you were about to go out just now. If there is something urgent, do not let me delay you. There is no poison here in Yongning Hall.

The things Elder Brother sent — if Jiaojiao can eat them, then naturally so can I.”

Su Jiao’s lips moved, and her eyes had grown so frantic that tears were about to fall. Seeing that Xie Yan had no intention whatsoever of letting go of her, she suddenly lowered her head and bit down hard on his wrist.

A faint smell of blood spread from his wrist, yet he still gripped her just as tightly.

“Xie Yan, you will truly die.”

She tilted her head back, a glimmer of tears flickering in her eyes. His reflection shone within those tearful eyes, and Xie Yan could not help but reach out to touch her face.

“Jiaojiao is so beautiful.”

The moment his hand reached out, Su Jiao seized the opening, pushed him away, and took two steps back, then ran toward the bed.

She rummaged through the bedside and turned up the gold needle she had left there that day. At a moment like this, any thought of concealing her medical knowledge was thrown entirely to the back of her mind. She crossed to him in just a few strides, and the needle in her hand plunged toward his acupoint.

The motion was swift and without the slightest hesitation. Xie Yan’s body stiffened, and a moment later he lowered his head and spat out a small brown pill.

Su Jiao suddenly let out a long breath and collapsed completely onto the floor.

After such a violent swing between terror and relief, the tears in her eyes fell beyond all control. The moment she caught that clean fragrance, she had already known what it was.

A lethal poison — within half an hour of ingestion, it would cause sudden death, presenting the very same symptoms as the fake-death drug she had been about to take.

Yet a hundredfold more agonizing.

“Do you feel any… any pain anywhere, or any discomfort? Have you taken any other medicine…?”

Her gaze fell on Xie Yan in a panic.

He seemed still entirely unaware of anything amiss, furrowing his brow as he wiped away her tears.

“Why are you crying? Were you not about to go out?”

He exerted a little force, and Su Jiao’s slight frame was pulled into his embrace.

She exhaled in unsteady breaths, the tears in her eyes falling without restraint. She gripped Xie Yan’s arm tightly, sunk deep in her own thoughts and unable to pull herself free, and did not answer him.

Xie Yan smiled, seemingly in good spirits. His hands were wet with her tears, and he lowered his head and licked them away with his cold lips.

Her cheeks had grown flushed with anxiety, and the sudden brush of his lips made her flinch.

That teardrop slid along her cheek and down to her neck.

He lowered his head, and his kisses fell upon her neck — fine and dense, carrying a ticklish, tingling sensation and a faint sting of pain.

With a little force, a row of tooth marks appeared to match the ones on his wrist. A faint smell of blood drifted through the air, and Xie Yan finally lifted his head, satisfied.

Su Jiao had not spoken the whole while. Only the tears in her eyes fell, drop by drop.

****

Dawn had almost broken, and still no one had come from outside the palace.

A flash of urgency passed through Su Wei’s eyes.

His younger sister had always been obedient. The night before, he had appealed to her emotions — they alone were each other’s last living kin in this world, and his sister had always longed to leave the palace. This time he had severed her last remaining hesitation; she had no reason not to come out.

It must be Xie Yan who has blocked her path.

Su Wei murmured to himself.

The moment he had seen Xie Yan the night before, he had already sensed this matter would not go smoothly. That man was deeply calculating, cunning, and ruthless…

Su Wei suddenly closed his eyes.

“Proceed according to the second plan.”

The last sliver of darkness faded at the edge of the sky. Morning light poured through the latticed windows and fell upon two figures whose clothing was entangled together within the room.

Su Jiao’s breathing gradually slowed from rapid to calm. Her dazed gaze shifted toward Xie Yan, and she had not yet spoken when —

“Your Highness the Prince, Your Highness the Prince’s Consort, this servant has been sent on orders to deliver today’s meal.”

A figure dressed as a eunuch entered from outside the hall, carrying a tray in his hands.

Xie Yan inclined his head, allowing the man to enter.

The eunuch set the tray down on the table before them, but did not leave at once. Instead, he picked up a steaming bowl of fish soup and carried it over.

“This fish soup was specially prepared by the imperial kitchen today. His Majesty has given instructions that it be offered to Your Highness to nourish your body.”

The eunuch bowed and stood before him. Xie Yan was just about to reach out to take it —

“Who sent you?”

Su Jiao, still nestled in his arms, sat up straight, her gaze snapping to the eunuch.

The eunuch met her eyes and gave a slight smile.

“My Lady the Prince’s Consort, it is naturally His Majesty’s command.”

Su Jiao’s lips moved as she reached for the fish soup, but the eunuch subtly shifted away. The token at his waist flashed briefly past, and Su Jiao’s body stiffened in an instant.

“Your Highness the Prince, please.”

She no longer moved, and the eunuch, taking this for silent consent, raised the fish soup and offered it to Xie Yan once more.

Xie Yan raised his hand to take it, and Su Jiao suddenly overturned the tray in his hand.

The fish soup spilled out of the bowl with a crash and splashed across the floor.

It also splattered all over the eunuch and Xie Yan.

“My Lady the Prince’s Consort?”

The eunuch’s tone carried a hint of probing.

The young lady had clearly seen his token, and should have known he was here to help her.

Xie Yan also looked over, with a light smile.

“What is the matter?”

“I slipped.”

As she said this, her emotions tensed once more.

“Get out.”

“What?”

The eunuch raised his head in bewilderment.

“I said get out. There is no need to bring any more soup.”

The rich broth pooling on the floor made Su Jiao feel a chill through her entire body. She repeated the words in a trembling voice, and the eunuch had no choice but to bow.

“Yes.”

He had only stepped half a pace back when he noticed Xie Yan turning to rub Su Jiao’s back. A sharp gleam flickered in the eunuch’s eyes. A dagger slipped from his sleeve, and catching a flash of cold light, it shot toward Xie Yan’s back with lightning speed.

Su Jiao looked up and her eyes went wide at once.

“Xie Yan!”

She instinctively moved to shield him, but was not as quick as Xie Yan’s reaction. Su Jiao felt only a tightening at her waist as Xie Yan pulled her aside, and the broken shards on the floor flew up and slashed the eunuch’s throat, killing him instantly. At the same time, Xie Yan let out a muffled grunt, and a thick smell of blood spread through the air.

Su Jiao had not expected the eunuch to be so bold, and her own heart was seized with shock. She hurried out of his embrace and began pulling at his clothing.

“Are you all right? How are you?”

Xie Yan removed his outer robe. His already fragile face had grown even paler, and a wave of guilt rose up in Su Jiao like a tide.

“Come quickly — Chang Lin, go get medicine, go to the rear hall and get my medicine!”

Chang Lin pushed the door open and came in. At the sight of this scene, he too was badly frightened. He answered at once and ran outside, then crossed the threshold and saw Chang Yi standing expressionlessly in a corner outside the hall, sword in hand.

“How could you let an assassin like that slip through and bring food to His Highness?”

Both angry and alarmed, Chang Lin could not help but reproach him.

Chang Yi stood without expression, holding his sword.

“Do you think His Highness did not know?”

“What?”

Chang Lin asked again, but he had already fallen silent.

From the moment that eunuch had insisted on entering, he had known something was wrong. He had stood outside the window and asked his master for instructions — this man was from the Su family, and naturally could not be let in.

But given that the Prince’s Consort was involved, he had wanted to ask whether to kill the man outright or drive him out.

Unexpectedly, his master had looked over at his silent gesture, and the corner of his mouth had pulled into a faint smile.

“Let him in.”

He had said it soundlessly, mouthing the words to Chang Yi.

“His bowl of poisoned soup, and his dagger — let them both in.”

…..

The outer robe removed, Su Jiao saw the deep wound on his back and was shaken once more.

She pressed her lips together and cleaned the wound on his back bit by bit, then applied medicine.

After all of this, she was nearly drained of both body and mind. Let alone walking — even speaking a single word exhausted her greatly.

Her brother. The brother she had relied on and trusted, the brother she had lived alongside for so many years. For the first time, she found him so utterly impossible to understand.

He had certainly lied about her mother falling off the cliff at the back of the hill, and then, right on the heels of their mother’s death, he had proposed that she feign her death and leave the palace.

Yet what a coincidence — before he had ever brought up the matter of leaving the palace, her mother had already left written words in his courtyard telling her not to go.

Why had her mother known what was coming?

Or was it that… she had found something out in advance?

An answer that had been pressing and struggling within her surfaced again at that moment. Not far away, the eunuch’s body had already been dragged out by Chang Lin. Su Jiao looked silently toward the door.

She knew there were still people out there waiting.

As long as she did not go out, they would keep waiting.

Su Jiao’s gaze fell on Xie Yan. He had had his medicine applied, and was now lying face-down at the bedside, seemingly fast asleep.

This was… a perfect opportunity.

The clear, delicate sound of her jade ornaments rang out as her figure moved from the bedside toward the door, and the moment her silhouette disappeared, the sleeping Xie Yan suddenly opened his eyes.

It was again the long ladder at the back of the rear hall. Su Jiao had only just reached the base when a figure leaned out from the top of the wall.

“Jiaojiao.”

“Brother? Why did you come yourself?”

Su Jiao had clearly not expected it to be him, and a flash of surprise crossed her eyes.

Su Wei looked her over from head to toe, and only then did the urgency on his face begin to fade.

“Did that eunuch fail? Are you unharmed?”

He opened his mouth and brought up the eunuch, and the emotions in Su Jiao’s eyes grew complicated and difficult to read.

“Did you not say… that what you gave Xie Yan was a drug to make him unconscious?”

“I… naturally it was a drug to induce unconsciousness. What did Jiaojiao think it was?”

Su Jiao’s medical knowledge was only superficial, and Su Wei knew that with her current skill she would never be able to detect any discrepancy.

His gaze settled on her, just as clear and composed as it had been the day he spoke of their mother falling off the cliff and suffering a heart spasm. Had Su Jiao not already lived through this once before, and had she not already known it was poison, she would most likely have been deceived yet again.

Su Jiao’s throat worked. She opened her mouth, wanting to expose him — but with the words already at her lips, knowing he would never tell her the truth again, she fell silent once more.

“What was it that the eunuch brought in?”

She tilted her head back. Brother and sister looked at each other, and Su Wei’s expression did not change.

“The same medicine as that.”

“Did you not have him do anything else?”

She had seen both the dagger and the medicine clearly. Su Wei had truly wanted Xie Yan’s life.

Why? Simply so she could leave the palace?

She looked at Su Wei, thinking that if he were to be honest with her now and clear up all her confusion, then she would…

“No.”

Those two short words fell, and her breath caught.

She looked at this brother she had known across two lifetimes, yet who felt so utterly unfamiliar.

And she suddenly felt that the words leaving the palace were like a snare — laid silently before her, tempting her forward without any trace of guile.

He extended his hand toward her.

“Let us go, Jiaojiao. Take the medicine and leave the palace. What awaits you outside is the freedom you have always longed for and our mother’s final dying wish. You will no longer be bound. You need not stay here and serve as some Prince’s Consort. From now on, the world will be wide and open before you — whatever you wish to do, your brother will be by your side.”

These words pierced her to the heart, and Su Jiao stared at those hands.

This was the brother she had trusted unreservedly all her life. He was her last living kin after her mother’s death, and he was reaching out to her, carrying the freedom she craved most.

And behind it all lay his painstaking scheme — he had even neglected to keep vigil at their mother’s mourning hall, working day and night. He had wanted so desperately to help her get out, and for that he had not hesitated to move against her nominal husband.

Her throat worked, and her emotions churned on and on, until finally, in the moment his hand reached hers, they stilled.

She closed her eyes and opened her mouth.

****

By the time Su Jiao returned, Xie Yan was still asleep at the desk where he had been before, without even having shifted his posture.

She stood in the doorway for a long, long while, watching him.

Perhaps her gaze was too intent, for the sleeping figure gradually opened his eyes.

Their eyes met, and Xie Yan showed a smile.

“What is it?”

Su Jiao said nothing.

She walked forward, and when she reached Xie Yan, her waist was suddenly pulled taut and she fell into his arms.

“Don’t move.”

She had only just begun to struggle when Xie Yan spoke.

She felt a gaze upon her, traveling from top to bottom.

An appraisal, and something that seemed like searching.

Su Jiao’s heart lurched abruptly.

The fish soup and the pill on the floor had not been cleared away. Would he ask?

Ask why she had been about to go out just then, ask how she had known the medicine was poisoned?

Or perhaps… he would have someone immediately investigate the eunuch’s identity?

She tightened her grip, her back going rigid in his embrace.

One moment, then two. Su Jiao’s palms broke into a sweat —

“Your hands are so cold. Let me warm them.”

Her palm was suddenly pried open, and two ice-cold hands were pressed inside it.

Su Jiao’s thoughts snapped entirely back to the present, and she looked in bewilderment at Xie Yan, who had buried his face against her neck with a quiet sigh.

“What is wrong?”

Xie Yan asked in return.

Their eyes met, and she shook her head.

Yet the worry in her heart had not yet been put to rest.

Xie Yan spoke to her in a leisurely, unhurried way.

“You must have tired yourself out at the Su residence these past few days. Now that you are back, you can rest properly.

Yongning Hall is not like the Su residence, where you had to deal with so many visitors. As long as you do not go out, there are only the two of us here, and you may have peace and quiet for as long as you wish.

Do not worry about the wound on my back — a few days of rest and it will be fine. It is almost time for the morning meal. Do you think anyone will still send food to us?”

Su Jiao’s nerves stayed taut all the way to the end, and Xie Yan said not a single word about the pill or the fish soup.

A creeping unease began to rise within her.

With her behaving so strangely, did he truly have not the slightest desire to ask?

“You…”

She opened her mouth, and Xie Yan tilted his head and looked over.

“What is it?”

Su Jiao’s lips moved, but still the words would not come.

Xie Yan gathered a loose strand of hair that had fallen by her temple.

“It has gotten a bit tangled. I will go comb it.”

Su Jiao quickly snatched the strand away and stepped out of his embrace.

Her retreating figure was visibly flustered.

Only when that figure disappeared from view did the smile at Xie Yan’s lips fade.

He idly rubbed the remaining warmth in his hand.

The more unsettled she is, the less he asks.

Using the excuse of combing her hair, Su Jiao composed herself in the rear hall for quite some time.

When Su Wei had extended his hand toward her, she had said no.

She understood that much of what her brother had done was perhaps for the sake of getting her out of the palace, and that even their mother’s death might be inseparably tied to this matter. The idea of leaving the palace was far too great a temptation, and even the reason given was one that left no room for fault.

But no matter how great the temptation, she had to say no.

Because only by doing so could she find out what her brother — the brother she had known for over a decade, who had not kept a single day of vigil at their mother’s mourning hall — truly intended to do.

Returning from the rear hall, she looked at Xie Yan sitting calmly by the table as though nothing had happened at all.

From opening the coffin at the mourning hall, to the overnight journey to Huguo Temple, to the Huishui Condensed Dew Pill — given to her without a moment’s hesitation, just as in her previous life — her mother’s death and the strangeness in Su Wei’s behavior seemed to have become a secret known only to the two of them.

Her father was someone she certainly could not rely on. With her mother gone and herself now at Yongning Hall, to move forward was to walk into a trap, and to retreat was to never uncover the truth behind her mother’s death.

Link by link, circle by circle, it seemed as though she had been driven into a corner. As things now stood, the only person she seemed able to face was this man here.

He had not pressed her with so much as a single question, yet in circumstances like these, he had given her the only space in which she could breathe.

Even if it was a deliberately preserved pretense…

Even a reflection in a mirror or on water need not be shattered at a time like this.

Su Jiao closed her eyes.

“Xie Yan.”

The figure at the table looked over.

“I want to ask you… to help me investigate something.”

The corners of his mouth curved upward without a sound.

“All right.”

He replied.

****